50 Years Angrier: On Celebrations, Riots & Revolution

Look at our country.

kenya at 50 celebrations

All 50 years of its freedom have amounted to everything you see around you today. All the freedoms that we enjoy, all the development that we witness and all the suffering that remains.

Last week, the the Creative Director at my place of work drafted a fairly sober email for one of our clients to send out on independence day. It talked of the “battles we won and the blood we’ve shed”. I had to tell him to rewrite it as it was too dark. Because if truth be told, we have tons of reasons to celebrate.

But while we’re being honest, it’s hard to remember those reasons when everyday, we are blinded by archaic injustices.

Yesterday, I happened to be a stonesthrow away from where the University riots began when they began. I read online about how the students were infuriated because one of their own supposedly committed suicide while in police custody for cheating on an exam. Students I spoke to seem to think “suicide” is a cover up. It’s not clear and I’m not here to take sides.

What is clear is that students rioted last night. And in response to the riots, police escalated from teargas and crowd control to live rounds and murder. Continue reading

U.O.N Now Plans To Build A 22 Storey C.U.N.T

Somewhat related..

Somewhat related..

So I stumbled on this gem on the Nation this afternoon.

I’ll skip to the interesting bit:

Vice-Chancellor George Magoha said the building should be completed in 120 weeks and will be named Chandaria University of Nairobi Towers. [Ed: That would be C.U.N.T for short]

He said the Chandaria Foundation would contribute Sh125million towards the construction and hence the reason behind the naming of the facility.

Ehem. One question. If you have Sh.2.5 billion to spend on building anything, wouldn’t you look carefully at the name you chose?

I can’t help but feel like the guy designing the logo for this looked at the name and asked “Are you sure?” And chuckled when the Vice-Chancellor said “Yeah. We’re very sure.”

Maybe they should also build a medical school annex next to it and call it the Doctor’s Instruction Center of Kenya while they’re at it and really just milk those abbreviations for what they’re worth.

Honestly, I’m just waiting for the “Slippery When Wet” signs that have a C.U.N.T logo at the bottom.

Or better still, the Chandaria University of Marketing.

This is too easy.

Mad Professors & Higher Education

Mad Professors
I was walking down University Way when I saw a familiar face. A guy I had been schooling with back in High School, dressed like a security guard marching towards me. Then he randomly stopped and stared up into the air with intent. Were I not sure there was nothing in the air, I would’ve stared too. Soon, he was having a fight with an imaginary flying serpent, swinging his security guard fimbo in the air recklessly. It wasn’t long before he stumbled onto the road and began running to the other side of the highway, looking over his shoulder every few seconds. He was oblivious to traffic and to his general surroundings. To say he looked out of his mind would be mild. He looked like he and his mind had parted ways a long time ago and this new thing in his head belonged to a mouse on LSD. I watched him scream at vehicles and jump up and down as I reminisced on how academically sturdy this guy used to be. I remember him going to University and hearing he was doing well. How he got to this point, I don’t know.

Well, I have my suspicion. I think school made him go slightly bonkers. And if you’ve been watching the news lately, you know why I’m saying this. Continue reading

Stupid children!

I heard on X-fm that those stupid children want to riot again. Nkt.

A little background.

A few weeks ago, campaigns began for student elections. I pass through Chiromo every day, so I noted all the posters of unreasonably attractive boys … and girls.

Come election day, I heard a lot of noise outside – the office is quite close to the campus. I made sure to leave early that day.

The next three days were filled with riots by those stupid children. They torched cars, broke windows, did the usual random nonsense. In response, the government banned SONU, the students union.

Because of the ban, the students staged a peaceful protest which was anything but peaceful. The government and administration of UoN then closed the university indefinitely.

Next day, the former SONU Chairman – Osiany – gave the government an ultimatum of 2 weeks to reopen the university, otherwise the students would ‘take to the streets’. Continue reading